You hurt me in a thousand ways

As its said the words of people that do not know us or we are not close to do not hurt us and we do not care what they say but the close people ,the dear people that we love hurt us in a thousand ways why ? just cause we love you , just cause we give you so much importance why you hurt us so deeply that it puts deep scars within ourselves that we can never forget , these words you say for hurting us are more than a sword to kill us it kills us deep inside we are living but we we are dead inside and still we are smiling not showing how deep you hurt me and if i tell you it would not make a single difference what type of relation is this in which you can not forget our mistakes even though we apologized you just want more and more never enough never satisfied 

I want to hate  you i want to never talk to you i want to hate myself for doing so much for you but you spill milk on it but what i do i have a relation with you that even if i want i can not break this relation cause its made of blood 

I  want to share a small story in it which may help to understand this better my mother everyone love her do not ? she is said to love you more than anything and i do not question that here i just want to say that mother hurts you too very much cause i guess its a deep relation the more deep the more hurt but as mothers and daughters have much  issues that daughter and fathers yeah i am right i am more close to my father than my mother as kid i was to my mother but as i am growing up in our relation we have lots of issues but i want to say 

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IF YOU GET HURT I FEEL HURT I DO NOT KNOW WHY ?

But the issues that we have hurt me more than anything that makes me crave to self harm which sometimes i fail or sometimes i succeed , as for which thing recently hurt me is that just like little sisters makes you scold by parents just the same happened  i do not have sisters but i have a naughty cousin sister , as a big sister i think right to tell when she is doing something wrong or harmful but my mother do not even listen to what happens and start throwing her words that cuts you deep inside like thorns yeah like thorns  today is really special day as its her birthday i do not want to spoil it i made lots of preparations i will try to fight myself my emotions of hurt and will try to smile and well i guess these smiles me turn to real smiles i do not know my cousin was having string in  her mouth and balloon so i said no and she got upset with me and then on purpose did it more i left the room trying to ignore  as she may stop on her own but as stubborn she is , was outside my parents room and making noises like any child faking cry will but she was making sound of not cry other to gather attention and also the sound of biting on string was irritation i told my father its so irritating , he said its okay bear it and i was bearing it as my mother finished her prayers she gave her sweets and she went outside still mumbling and here my mother said some words that hurt me and made her happy and go away my mother said i say things to them but as if i said something to her she is a kid she will be upset on it like she meant i did something or told something that made her upset and i was like what i said nothing but as she never listens then i kept quite i was quite sad but then my heroic father made entry and said what happened and its not my fault and i am glad he did that even though my mothers words hurt me and she always do that and we do not have a great relation but i am really happy my father is so loving love you and i will not spoil my plans i will do as i planned for her party as enough is enough i deserve to be happy too 🙂

I WILL BE STRONG EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT KNOW UNTIL WHEN IT WILL LAST

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. So true, many times it happens. There’s also this saying- You can hurt a heart only till it loves you. That being said, it is kinda difficult to read the content without any full stops or commas or paragraphs broken into sentences. Thanks for the post. Have a great day!

    Like

  2. Charge with emotions

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yeah emotions are part of life 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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