ABUSE, broken hearts, desires, freedom


the memories flashes in his mind his childhood memories he wants to forget but his past do not let him happy in present and his future is an illusion he wants to die but he is living the pain he suffered are eternal he can not forget

he was   hit in childhood and that has a  drastic effect on a his mind when he grows up he can not function normally a flash ,a trigger , the criminal that did that to him ,the people standing still with the criminal that tortures the victim are now standing on the other side everything is opposite

when the criminal own child is put in that position he yells ,he shouts and stops the minor injustice to  his child but why no one stand out for the victim,why the victim was not saved ,the victim still had those horrible thoughts of his childhood ,the victim still has those dreams

why did he suffered all this? why was he not saved ? even whatever happens to the criminal now it can not heal the pain of the victim once hit by him  in childhood when he  s was weak he could do nothing to stop the violence put on his soul ,he could do nothing ,there was nothing he could do to stop it ,now he is grown but it still haunts him why ? he smiles on the outside but a trigger , the injustice he sees that her criminal now protects her child from minor things seeing that makes the victim  hurt , was i not someone child ?  the victim want to shout out to her abuser to the abusers kids what was my fault ? what was my fault ? why you took my childhood from me ? and why are you talking this lives peace from me ? why ,why why ?

but there is no voice back ,everything is hollow but there is hole inside of him too will it be stitched ,it feels to the victim like his past was not his past but it was present it happened now , attacking the weak is so easy if he grows up and stops it own his own but that criminal shouting at him makes him go back he may have stopped the abuse but how can he stop the memories , how can be calmed? how can he erase the pain he is feeling inside that is killing him ?

he looks up to sky “oh god! please give me peace and give me justice on the day of judgement , whatever hatred i have inside is because of that abuser i was not born with hatred i was not born this way but that abuser made me this the one that has hatred in his heart ,the one that do not feel bad for child ,wishes he suffer the same but he will not all this darkness filled inside is not my god is not my but i will just pray that you give me justice that is my only hope to live up ”



11 thoughts on “past”

  1. Very touching and deep. The wounds never heal. With a lot of hard work, the pain will ease a little in time. I think the triggers are always there. I know mine are. Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

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