Anxitey

  • I keep thinking that bad thing are going to happen in future even if it has a month.
  • I keep thinking what happened in the  past will happen again.
  • I say things or am not  grateful for certain things ,later I regret it but can not forgive myself.
  • I panic and worry something bad gonna happen to my loved ones.
  • And please i hate those people who say you do not pray or pray they do not know  a  fuck about mental illness, a friend of my said pray if your scared common anyone going through must know praying don’t help
  • Its hard to forgive myself.
  • Its hard to forgive all those that did bad but what torture me is the reoccurring scenes in my mind.
  • Thinking about future and past both are worst .
  • And then I think about self harm as punishing myself, I stopped in 2017 mid but still I have urges the only thing which stops me is my parents finding out and not having a clean object to cut….
  • So tell me if you feel the same way cause I do not want to be the only one on Earth facing this .. if you do please share and speak

Heroine

Heroine is bad for the body it destroys you but still can not leave it, thats you for me. Your not good for me but I cann’t leave you. Like an heroine addict I am addicted to you.

Everyday the addict promises to leave it with just for day… And with that he never stops… I do the same just for today will say “hi” ask “how is he doing ” ,I know he is always good, god gave him everything one can desire. Its just an excuse for me to talk to you. Taking every insult thrown at me that’s my punishment for loving you.

Sometimes I wonder just like heroine can find anyone but the heroine addict cant let go, you can find and have anyone, you have the most amazing and beautiful people around you but for me its only YOU

Sounds too romantic right, ignore it thats how I am have been these days….