One sided love

He is not the one

I depend on anymore

He is not the one

I trust anymore

He is not the one

I call in need anymore

He is not the one

in my dreams anymore

He is not the one

I want anymore

He is not the man of my dreams anymore

just a man who I once treasured more than diamonds

so a scar he has left when I considered him my world but when you can get something easily you never care .

when ever I look at you a pain in my chest rises and I look away as you never know what I felt for you and you never cared enough for me so I know you never loved me

Cycle repeats

Two souls wandering alone.

The cupid god helps them meet

making them lovers .

Madly in love but then the villain god cant see it so he moves his magical stick and causes problems misunderstanding fights and maybe cheating is involved they will come out as gold after all this or will be broken so bad will one lose there life ?then the cycle repeats fall in love , fall out of love.

REPLACED

you stalk and chase

  like I meant the world to you

making vows and promises

for loving me forever

you start to attract me

style,manliness and boldness you got

 with these muscles you made

making me lose my mind

you start to take over me

make a place in my heart

my body ,soul and mind

are in complete possession of you

and

then suddenly you feel something wrong

  nothing seems right for you

after so much effort

making me yours but not made my

your mission ends ,another starts

to have another innocent heart  with your deadly charms

replacing is what you do

love is just a hobby for you

these false , empty vows are made only to break 

cause that’s what you do

”PLAY BOY ”

TRAPPED

She is laying on a cold floor .

Which is all wet and the girl is just lying there with water dripping on her face drop by drop , the room has a roof but it could not prevent the big monsters like clouds from raining and slowly it will make her body numb there is no one to save her from the hell.

When it becomes hard for her to even breath she begs for death but so cruel,  she finds a beat after every drowning.

As there is this line between life and death so does there is line between fear and reality ,love and abandonment, understanding and hurt.

So the girl runs away finding a  hole, she is away from sinking deep but that hole does not lead to success cause success is after when she swims on her own from the sea of water ,that hole keeps her safe for a while but she wants to explore what lies outside the hole and water torture but scared she may feel drowning again , she stays in the hole all alone wasting her life.

The crabs in it does not even make her afraid they bite her, but do she scream?

Nope it calms her the blood makes her feel alive,  cause death people do not bleed nor feel pain so she she asks them to bite her to make her fears anxiety, sadness ,guilt, hatred go away making the crab her best friend, her only friend cause his actions speak louder and no words makes her safe.

GROW OLD TOGETHER

Putting my head on your bare chest is my deepest desire and gaze at the stars together till we get old.Our hair turn white and its still the same you love me.

The same when we first met on the school entrance,you holding your mother’s hand crying and I being so happy for the first time going to  school  that  I give you my chocolate which I never  shared before  that was when we were so young  .

Time went by so fast , we became teenagers  had fights and patch ups long were the nights and short were the days cause the nights surrounded you making it so magical .

Do you remember ,we used to watch stars together.

Do you still remember  you said your love will never change and it will remain like a frozen mountain but mountains melt , roses wither people get old, life ends and the universe changes .

I believed your love was unchangeable and I was so dumb to believe we will get old together.

Walking down the alley with holding hands people whispering “wow! what cool old love birds” .

I thought our love will write history .

People remembering it for  ages to come .

Then i woke up it was a dream, reality is just gloomy

deception

there is a man he has the face of an angel, he is really kind and all over the place his good deeds are known he is like a perfect human being but can humans be really perfect ? is not perfection only for God we humans are perfect as imperfect , so there must be something he is hiding behind his perfect mask what lays beneath his perfect mask is a demon who is lower than human standards ,even animals would be disgraced . his heart is black and his deeds are like gold what you see is just a deception and the truth is buried deep down who ever tries to uncover it death will be awaiting soon 

TIME CHANGES

this song so much is relatable  to my true story , so listen to it as well

friendship to love

and then

from  love to heartbreak

all of it happened so soon

that the time spent with you seemed

so short

and

the fights seemed so long

but

there remain one thing which never changed

and that was my love for you

so strong

like an ice berg

and

then you broke me

into a thousand pieces with leaving me alone

that it was so hard to live

and

move on ,

the relation from friendship,love and break up quickly turned into something called hatred,revenge ,

hating you was easy then revenge

cause seeing you hurt was like me hurt

but continued to hate you

for what you did to me ,blamed you ,resented you ,tried to do friendship ,still cared for your wounds

the heart ached for you ,

but then when everything failed ,

every effort was thrown into the bin,

when there was no going back to what we were,

no matter how hard i tried it could not be normal relation,

there i stopped trying ,stopped calling,texting,being a nuisance,

but stopping everything did not mean my heart stopped loving ,

when there was rain i would write your name on my car window ,

remembering you , every love , every couple will remind me of you,

the nights were for crying in the name of you ,

the days were for laying in bed restless ,

but

realized one thing my worth in your life it was lower than your dog ,

but your worth in my life was more than family,money,things etc that was the difference between my love and your love it was not equal ,

you did not cared if i existed or not  so

even if you had stayed it would not last long ,

with passing times as its said time heals every wound ,

so was my healed ,

the broken me was still broken

the trust on love is not here but there is one thing that happened

i forgive him, its not his fault ,

its was not meant to be,

it was a life lesson ,

making me strong, making me brave,and above all of it changed me ,

not the old me who gets attached to people ,

cry for them ,

beg them to stay ,

if someone wants to leave ,

i will let them go even open the door for them

cause if someone really wants to stay

they will stay not threaten to leave or even leave ,

if someone is going to love me , he should love me as me,

with every flaw and every goodness ,

not try to change what i am,

even if i am cold heart, unkind,selfish , that’s what i am , no need to tell me what i am cause

i know me better than you 

but if you think i am good person

its your opinion good and bad are just like this

a line between both of them

and

i am not perfect , i may act immature,want love,cry but it does not make you weak it just shows how strong you have and how strong your going to be