When my heart pounded and I could not fall asleep.
My anxiety keeping me awake all night and you say I can control it ?
If I could have control it would I like this mental torture ….
You know what makes it worst its people like you who do not support it fine your choice but why make it hard for people like us ?
Your lucky enough you do not have this then why pass comments as you know what it is …
You do not know you can never know what it feels to have anxiety .
I had anxiety when I turned 14 and now its quite less then before but it does not mean I am cured it.
Do you know how it felt to go to school everyday with anxiety and panic attack I wish you knew cause then you would not be sitting there and making random comments .
Just like a headache ,flu,cancer you go to a doctor and its not your fault so is anxiety you can not control it nor its for attention
its the worst thing that eats you deep inside and makes you stand at death door so be careful of what you say to a person suffering from it do not just randomly pass comments like its my fault…. no it was never my fault I did not choose it .
It was and it will never be my fault and its worst when people judge you and make you feel even more low .
The constant worry of what may go wrong its two am and I can not sleep cause what may go wrong causes me anxiety and you say I am over thinking You say just say God name and you will be fine nah your wrong ….God name would not help me cure my anxiety nor will your rubbish …..something that made my teenage years worst something that broke me something which caused me to get embarrassed in public ,no I will not let it control me again
Your brave cause you have what many can not take.
You have been through what no can go through.
Your brave then any solider dying on battle field
Your brave then anyone else out there cause you endured what no one can …
I keep thinking that bad thing are going to happen in future even if it has a month.
I keep thinking what happened in the past will happen again.
I say things or am not grateful for certain things ,later I regret it but can not forgive myself.
I panic and worry something bad gonna happen to my loved ones.
And please i hate those people who say you do not pray or pray they do not know a fuck about mental illness, a friend of my said pray if your scared common anyone going through must know praying don’t help
Its hard to forgive myself.
Its hard to forgive all those that did bad but what torture me is the reoccurring scenes in my mind.
Thinking about future and past both are worst .
And then I think about self harm as punishing myself, I stopped in 2017 mid but still I have urges the only thing which stops me is my parents finding out and not having a clean object to cut….
So tell me if you feel the same way cause I do not want to be the only one on Earth facing this .. if you do please share and speak
Heroine is bad for the body it destroys you but still can not leave it, thats you for me. Your not good for me but I cann’t leave you. Like an heroine addict I am addicted to you.
Everyday the addict promises to leave it with just for day… And with that he never stops… I do the same just for today will say “hi” ask “how is he doing ” ,I know he is always good, god gave him everything one can desire. Its just an excuse for me to talk to you. Taking every insult thrown at me that’s my punishment for loving you.
Sometimes I wonder just like heroine can find anyone but the heroine addict cant let go, you can find and have anyone, you have the most amazing and beautiful people around you but for me its only YOU
Sounds too romantic right, ignore it thats how I am have been these days….